Saturday, May 26, 2007

Teeth so white,
A smile wider then wide,
Eyes so full of light,
From then I could never hide.

She is my light, my sun,
Without her I am forever in the dark,
When with her sadness is always on the run,
With her I am in love, oh hark!

I hear her approach,
With a voice so sweet,
In her forest I would love encrouch,
To feel her full embraces heat.

One day I will feel it all,
And maybe with time,
One day when I feel tall,
I will do it all and make her mine.

Saturday, May 19, 2007

Freaking out!

............that's all i have to say about this FUCKING SUBJECT!

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Another joke do to lack of insperation.... Man do i need to get laid..... JUST JOKING MOM!


*************

The kindergarten class had a homework assignment to
find out about something exciting and relate it to
the class the next day. When the time came for the
little kids to give their reports, the teacher was
calling on them one at a time. She was reluctant to
call upon little Johnnie, knowing that he sometimes
could be a bit crude. But eventually his turn came.
Little Johnnie walked up to the front of the class,
and with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on
the blackboard, then sat back down. Well the teacher
couldn't figure out what Johnnie had in mind for his
report on something exciting, so she asked him just
what that was. "It's a period" reported Johnnie.
"Well I can see that" she said. "But what is so
exciting about a period?" "Damned if I know" said
Johnnie, "but this morning my sister said she missed
one. Then Daddy had a heart attack, Mommy fainted and
the man next door shot himself."





Sunday, May 06, 2007

funny fridays not on a friday

Yesterday I was taking a break in the back garden after nasty storms, and my wife upstairs was having a shower.

I couldn't find the rake so I yelled up to her: "Honey, where's the rake?".

She couldn't hear me and she shouted back, "What?".

I pointed to my eye, then I pointed to my knee and made a raking motion. My wife wasn't sure and said, "What?". I repeated the gestures: "EYE KNEE THE RAKE".

My wife replied that she understood and signalled back. She first pointed to her eye, next she pointed to her left breast, then she pointed to her bum, and finally to her crotch.

Well, I had no idea what in god's name she was on about, so I trudged up the stairs, poked my head into the bathroom and asked her, "What the hell was that?".

She replied


EYE - LEFT TIT - BEHIND - THE BUSH


*********************

An african ambassador visited Russia and was entertained by his opposite number, the Russian ambassador. For three days, the African ambassador was wined, dined, and generally treated to the best hospitality that Russia had to offer.

On the last day of his visit, the Russian ambassador said, "As your stay is coming to an end, it's time for you to play our traditional game, Russian roulette. One of the six chambers of this gun is loaded - you spin the cylinder, point the gun at your head, and pull the trigger."

This phased the African slightly, but he was a proud man of a warrior people, and to show fear would be unthinkable. Both men took their guns, spun, and pulled the triggers.

Both chambers were empty, and both ambassadors breathed a sigh of relief.

The African ambassador was impressed with the couragous game, and thought hard about the subject before the Russian Ambassador was due to visit his country the next year.

When the visit came, the African ambassador treated the Russian with all hospitality, until the final day of his stay. Leading him to a private room in the palace, the African ambassador spoke, "Now, time for you to sample our game, African roulette". He then led the Russian into the room, the only occupants of which were six stunning and naked women.

The African ambassador said, "These women are the most beautiful members of one of our tribes. Any one of them will give you a oral sex - take your pick".

The Russian was not entirely averse to this idea, but he couldn't see the connection with Russian Roulette. He said, "Well, ok, great, but where's the roulette part? Where's the danger?"

With a big grin on his face, the African ambassador answered:

"One of them's a cannibal."