So I have a problem. well i am sure i have many....But the one i am thinking of involves a really cool girl, and either me or a lack there of... So i met this girl where i work... We went on a date and it was GREAT! So then we go on another, we go and see a movie, and it was Awsome. Later on that night i pick her up from work and we go back to my place and watch a movie,.... with out actual really watching it... No sex by the way... the next day we go for a burger... But after that... NOTHING!... I mean it has been over a week, and though she has been sick she still has had time to go other things, but i'm left on the back burner... So my problem is this... Does she actually like me? I mean she says shes interested, but hell i haven't seen her for that long... Now tomorrow she is going to take ME out for a birthday lunch... but is that all it will be? Cause if so... well.. i would rather not go.... I don't know... i know few people read this.. i just needed to vent in this fastness we call the internet and this seemed like a great place to start. why am i always lonely?

It's weird. I mean I have been in and out of relationships at a rate that would make most people call me a man whore. And then I met this girl. A great girl. i feel so happy when i am around her... And when i would normally feel frustrated I actually feel mostly happy, and enjoying myself. But heres the problem, I feel so heartbroken when she's not around or when i go for more then 24 hours without talking to her... It's quite sad actually. I mean, you would think that a guy who has dated so many people in such a short period of time, one who has felt the closeness of so many women and has heard so many people say the words "I love you" (even if they really don't mean it), and yet I still cope with these pathetic feelings... I mean if I had been dating her for a few months I can KINDA see where that would be coming from, but hell I have only had like 3 maybe 4 dates with the girl! And yet I look down to see if she has text messaged me about every 20 minutes! It makes no sense to me............ The other day she came through screening, she was heading to Vancouver. Now she knew that I was there, and that I had just seen her walk through... And when she walked away she didn't look back towards me.... I know, cause I was on brake and was watching to see if she was going to beep with her heals on... which she did....like I said she would. And yet I know she likes me.... Or I think she does... I presume she does.... O well... maybe I am just being paranoid and am over thinking the situation... as usual.

Be warned

I sit here, barely awake in the early dawn.
Refusing myself drink and bliss,
Meditating in the sorrow of heartache,
Waiting for your memory to be gone,
Oh how I hate times like this,
Where ones own mind is the enemy,
And the only think left to the man,
Is the demonic drink,
Or ones own turmoil,
This is all there is then?
Hope and merriment on the brink,
Of despair and rejection.

Young men stay away from sirens and angels,
Stay with comrades and men in arms,
But avoid sweet smiles and pretty eyes,
For pure defeat has beauty in front that dangles,
Now forth for you have been warned.