funny fridays not on a friday

Yesterday I was taking a break in the back garden after nasty storms, and my wife upstairs was having a shower.

I couldn't find the rake so I yelled up to her: "Honey, where's the rake?".

She couldn't hear me and she shouted back, "What?".

I pointed to my eye, then I pointed to my knee and made a raking motion. My wife wasn't sure and said, "What?". I repeated the gestures: "EYE KNEE THE RAKE".

My wife replied that she understood and signalled back. She first pointed to her eye, next she pointed to her left breast, then she pointed to her bum, and finally to her crotch.

Well, I had no idea what in god's name she was on about, so I trudged up the stairs, poked my head into the bathroom and asked her, "What the hell was that?".

She replied


EYE - LEFT TIT - BEHIND - THE BUSH

*********************

An african ambassador visited Russia and was entertained by his opposite number, the Russian ambassador. For three days, the African ambassador was wined, dined, and generally treated to the best hospitality that Russia had to offer.

On the last day of his visit, the Russian ambassador said, "As your stay is coming to an end, it's time for you to play our traditional game, Russian roulette. One of the six chambers of this gun is loaded - you spin the cylinder, point the gun at your head, and pull the trigger."

This phased the African slightly, but he was a proud man of a warrior people, and to show fear would be unthinkable. Both men took their guns, spun, and pulled the triggers.

Both chambers were empty, and both ambassadors breathed a sigh of relief.

The African ambassador was impressed with the couragous game, and thought hard about the subject before the Russian Ambassador was due to visit his country the next year.

When the visit came, the African ambassador treated the Russian with all hospitality, until the final day of his stay. Leading him to a private room in the palace, the African ambassador spoke, "Now, time for you to sample our game, African roulette". He then led the Russian into the room, the only occupants of which were six stunning and naked women.

The African ambassador said, "These women are the most beautiful members of one of our tribes. Any one of them will give you a oral sex - take your pick".

The Russian was not entirely averse to this idea, but he couldn't see the connection with Russian Roulette. He said, "Well, ok, great, but where's the roulette part? Where's the danger?"

With a big grin on his face, the African ambassador answered:

"One of them's a cannibal."