Ode to a hangover

A fragile head that seems to shatter with any sound.
A stomach that rejects everything to it that’s in bound.
My recollection of the night before is foggy at best,
And I am not sure if my genitals should take a test.
I seem to recall a pretty girl,
And the whole room a whirl.
My best friend is passed out on the floor,
And I want to shoot who ever is knocking so loud on my door.
Its the cops,
Apparently quite a few of us guys where running around in nothing but ladies tops.
The fines not big,
I think there’s money underneath these bottles if I just dig.
There is a girl on around my toilet.
The seat looks so used, I wonder if I can oil it..
There’s some one passed out in my tub too.
And there's something sticky all over them and I doubt it's glue.

These are the results of drinking.
And so when partying is what your thinking,
Remember before your think about a blouse,
To crash at someone else’s house.

We give our last bitter good byes,
And taste the sinues of our pains.
I wallow in sorrow for an eternity,
While braking our bonds and ties,
And in my recesses it rains and rains,
Till I have a depression born of my feternity.

I crumble and twist till I stop you in my thought,
And I hold still waiting for you to be truely gone.
But all the while its your soul that i can not escape,
I run and run but in the end I seem to only be caught
And then I am stuck again in night without dawn,
Where memory violates me with rape.

So I fight it and I win.
I Laugh and sing,
But then you snap back in a moment like whip,
Making my blood run thin,
And I hear memories call back with a ring,
And it's a spear with a barbed tip.

It hurts so much I can't breath.
It feels like a elephant just jumped on my chest.
Right now I am not sure what to think.
I haven't really cried this whole time.
And now here i am writing this stupid poem
Through tears.

The little goat and the geese

A little goat went for a walk,

And on his jolly jaunt,

He came across a geese flock.

They asked him in a sort of taunt,

“Look at you little goat,

Never able to taste the air

Or race the speeding boat,

Do you even care?

Do you ever want?

Are you even able of conscious thought?”

The goat just looked right back and said,

“Look at you my foolishly feathered friends,

It is you who fly high that end up dead,

And look how much your neck bends.

It seems that you are able to look right at yourself,

And do so all day long,

While the hunter stuffs you and places you on a shelf.

Don’t you think that this it is you who is wrong?”

The geese just hissed and flew away,

And the little goat carried on.

Later on that day,

When the day had already shone,

And before this story was told,

All the geese where shot and gone,

And the goat was slaughtered and sold.

A girl on a dream

Her smile though never seen hits me like an hammer

It brightens my day until I go blind and can not see,

Her charm is wit and beauty as if any of it matters.

For I am hers and nothing else can I be.

She floats by as if in a dream,

And I stare in wild wonder.

And then down on moon beam,

She comes to my to my soul then under,

To my very core of who I am.

She holds me there so I heal,

And in my ear she whispers when,

When I am begin to again feel.

To her, my dream.

To her, my hope,

To you and all you seem,

And to all of us who must cope.

The Three Voices

The Three Voices

The waves have a story to tell me,
As I lie on the lonely beach;
Chanting aloft in the pine-tops,
The wind has a lesson to teach;
But the stars sing an anthem of glory
I cannot put into speech.

The waves tell of ocean spaces,
Of hearts that are wild and brave,
Of populous city places,
Of desolate shores they lave,
Of men who sally in quest of gold
To sink in an ocean grave.

The wind is a mighty roamer;
He bids me keep me free,
Clean from the taint of the gold-lust,
Hardy and pure as he;
Cling with my love to nature,
As a child to the mother-knee.

But the stars throng out in their glory,
And they sing of the God in man;
They sing of the Mighty Master,
Of the loom his fingers span,
Where a star or a soul is a part of the whole,
And weft in the wondrous plan.

Here by the camp-fire's flicker,
Deep in my blanket curled,
I long for the peace of the pine-gloom,
When the scroll of the Lord is unfurled,
And the wind and the wave are silent,
And world is singing to world.

--- Robert Service

So i was at work the other day and my coworker was telling me her problems over lunch. She is getting sick of her boyfriend. She loves him, but she feels he wants to constantly be with her. She said she would rather he ws cheating on her then this. It kind made me think. I never meant to be like that with my ex. I mean I loved her and i wanted to spend as much time with her as she wanted to, but it was never my intent to make her feel that I NEEDED to spend all my time with her. I regret spending as much time as I did with actualy.

But on the other hand I had very few friends in the city at the time. So who else was I going to spend my time with. Though I do have my hobbies they are not exactly ones that I feel like doing after a hard day at work, nor ones I can really do in the city (ex: throwing knifes, hiking and such). The only hobbies I could do where play vedio games (which gets lame fast), and write (which is emotionaly draining, in a already emotionaly exrtranous time. ex, room mates issue then my whole ex thing). So what else was I to do? I guess I could have got into shape or something. But that tires you out and if you are already tired its kinda hard to drag yourself to do that.

Plus, what the hell? Women a generation ago, where complaining about not having "emotional" guys. Well they have them now, but it DOES come with a price. We want to spend our time with our girlfriends. So wtf! I am sorry but its impossable to have the best of both worlds. If that was the case, us guys would have girlfriends who love us, who want us, and who NEVER complain about their lifes and are always happy and wanting the physical side of a relationship, PLUS the emotional and spiritual side too. Who would let us pay for them when we want to pay for them. Who would not care weather we have a job or not just as long as we have enough to live on. Who would never NEED to go shopping for hours on end and feel the need to bring us. Who WOULD NOT have annoying friends and who we would find us super sexy and no one else even close. Well. THAT'S never going to happen, now is it. So why can't women just be satified with compromise?

We guys don't complian, in general, as much about relationship issues, other then not enough sex, as women. If that need is being met we can ignore or DEAL with all the rest. Why can't you women CHOOSE want it is you want of us men and stick with it?

I guess I am just frustrated, and needed to vent. Sorry about the long rant.

A storm blows.

A storm blows outside.
It's a cold one full of spite and snow,
And its fury is for me to ride,
So that this pain of mine might go.
It follows the breeze to windy places,
And there the wind does away with it.
It's a pain without names or faces,
And it's killing me bit by bit.

The frozen snow washes my soul.
And it keeps my heart numb,
It keeps my heart whole.
And though it may be dumb,
I know why I need this.
To forget to feel.
To erase my memory of bliss,
To forget all this.

Top 5

ok... So this is my challange to all who read this and have a blog... Make a top five songs for something in your life... Sence this site seems to have the theme of love and pain, I am doing my top 5 songs to make love to. So if you read this and you can't come up with a top five... YOU MUST do mine... just choose different songs.

Devon's Top Five Songs to "make love to"

1. Johnny Cash - Hurt
2. Third Eye Blind - I want you
3. Savage Garden - Hold me
4. Death Cab For Cutie - I will follow you into the dark
5. John Haitt - Have a little faith

And I am putting six cause its tight.

6. Goo Goo Dolls - Iris

I need inspiration... I can feel it starting to build... But it hasn't come to me yet, just is calling my name. Like a lover's kiss just before your lips meet... I like this feeling... But I need more... I need my love... Insperation... My one truest friend... See... I can feel it... It's stirring what creative juises i have... But i just can't do anything with it though... Well here's to the lovers embrase.

My Angel of Darkness

My angel of darkness shadows my mind,
She wages war in the depths of my soul.
With her comes a host of demons of every kind,
And ruin what I have left of self-control.
She stabs at my heart with a knife of silence,
Puncturing the fondations of who I am,
And by doing so she changes me forever hence,
Into the Devil of the sore and of the damned.

And in my fires I burn and thrash.
Always wresteling with my winged beast,
Till at least my doom is hashed,
And of course it's just what I expect in the least.
It's of course loving memories of what once was,
Twisted of course in order to kill.
But I still cherish them for no other cause,
Then they bring me a bit of bitter sweet joy.

My angel has moved on no doubt,
But the host of demons remain,
They scream, they yell, and they shout,
All in my head, yet all the same.
It's my heart they destroy.
It's my soul they slay.
And now I am left without joy,
But still I brun throughout the day.

My thoughts wonder,
And they sting me like a frozen lash.
They seem broken and twisted,
Like a bad car accedent.
I hold onto my heart with both hands,
But it just keeps on falling.

My body is empty,
With no soul inside.
My soul is out flying somewhere,
And I am so jealus of it.
For I know it feels just fine,
But I do not.

I just sit here and cry.
Listening to sad songs,
And hoping, praying,
That my Norah Jones to ask me to come away,
But she has not come into sight yet.