Saturday, July 22, 2006
He strikes again. He phones. We have caller ID. I see its him, she isn't home so I let it ring. Right after he phones again! I pick up and say in my tired voice, "Dude shes not home", and he replies " wow that atitude" and hangs up. I AM GOING MAD! AHHH! I keep telling myself, (and this partialy joking, Ok mostly) "I must not hug my axe. I must not hug my axe. I must not hug my axe." But its getting difficult, and I want to hurt him! ARRRHHHHH!!!
FRICK!
Ok, now I am pissed off. My room mate is great. I mean yeah at times there a bit of friction between us, but thats it. Only a bit. Now her boyfriend, soon to be fience' I have a problem with. He is controling, minipulating, and DEMANDS all of your attention. He wants me out, because apperantly he can't unwind when I am here, though I am hardly here. In fact I make a point of avoiding him and here when he is here. But he wants me out. And she, I am not sure, but she might ask me to leave BECAUSE of him. I am so pissed off! Its a drama show here, and I have avoided getting involved, but now I am in, because he has brought me in. He's 25! and acts like he 16! FRICK! Ah hell. FUCK!
Friday, July 21, 2006
Rave of the drunk Philosopher
I sit here drinking sweet wine,
And I feel alone, but alive.
All this is good and fine,
But my mind is burning hive.
It buzzes with questions and answers,
Ask and you may hear a few,
All you need to do is be a dancer.
And as you dance your speech you'll hear what I brew.
It's neither real nor fake,
Nor hard or soft,
But I have more of it than you can take,
With little reason to keep me aloft,
Aloft in my journey through my mind,
It's so chaotic,
And I admit you'll be scared at what you find.
But that’s not neurotic,
Its real.Cause we all have to think,
Everything we feel,
And yet, it gone before we can blink.
And I feel alone, but alive.
All this is good and fine,
But my mind is burning hive.
It buzzes with questions and answers,
Ask and you may hear a few,
All you need to do is be a dancer.
And as you dance your speech you'll hear what I brew.
It's neither real nor fake,
Nor hard or soft,
But I have more of it than you can take,
With little reason to keep me aloft,
Aloft in my journey through my mind,
It's so chaotic,
And I admit you'll be scared at what you find.
But that’s not neurotic,
Its real.Cause we all have to think,
Everything we feel,
And yet, it gone before we can blink.
Thursday, July 20, 2006
beer
I love beer. And not for the typical guy reasons. I love beer cause I get to let my mind wander away from life’s little problems and stresses. Which I may or may not be avoiding too much. Not only does it taste good, but it also acts as a social drink. Oh which by the way, I have discovered I am a social drinker. " Your having a drink, social I!" No in all seriousness I am not sure why I am posting this, probably just waiting for inspiration again.
Monday, July 17, 2006
To Love
I feel you and you feel me.
We play in our nocturnal nest,
And escape our misery.
But I must admit what I like best,
Is the feel of the words "I love you".
We go slow at first,
Teasing and being teased,
We wait until we are ready burst,
And then our frustrations are eased.
We then go to a steady beat,
And I forget myself in your kisses heat,
But what I crave the most are the words "I love you".
And when our passion is spent,
And in each others arms we lie,
It our emotions I must vent,
In my enthusiastic sigh,
And when the night past us has blew,
There is only one thing I ask
For the words: "I love you"
We play in our nocturnal nest,
And escape our misery.
But I must admit what I like best,
Is the feel of the words "I love you".
We go slow at first,
Teasing and being teased,
We wait until we are ready burst,
And then our frustrations are eased.
We then go to a steady beat,
And I forget myself in your kisses heat,
But what I crave the most are the words "I love you".
And when our passion is spent,
And in each others arms we lie,
It our emotions I must vent,
In my enthusiastic sigh,
And when the night past us has blew,
There is only one thing I ask
For the words: "I love you"
Saturday, July 08, 2006
Grace
George got up, it was a typical day,
To work he went, nothing wrong to say,
But along the way, tragedy fell at the hour of eleven,
For George died, and rose to the gate of heaven.
When he got there Saint Peter there stood.
"Long here have I stood with my key in hand,
And if residence here you want, as you should,
Then these are your crimes of which you stand."
And riddle them all off he did,
(What a day to be dead!)
And when an explanation was bid,
This is then one that was he said:
"Alas it is true,
I have committed all this,
And I know I must pay what is due.
But please do it with compassions kiss.
For I did as best I could,
Knowing my eager will,
Of sin and knowing it I would,
No matter the bill."
Poor Peter stood there,
With a dumb found expression upon his face,
"My brother please share,
Share with me in my place,
For long have I been here,
And I don't understand why?
Why find out about so much fear?
So much hatred, so much of that lie?"
George looked up at him and this is what he said:
"The truest friend is one who has lied,
The absent man has had whore in his bed.
The man who has nothing to hide,
Has found that out by pain.
The meekest one once was mad,
The most humble had fame,
And the best once was had.
Through love of God we stay on track,
And through sin we keep rounded,
For what the Godly lack,
Keeps them in chains bounded.
And what the sinful do,
Is an on going game of spiritual tag,
Like a sword it drives them through,
And so they kneel and to God they beg."
Saint Peter just stood there not knowing what to do,
A lost expressing on his face.
And then let him through,
For george had told him of grace.
To work he went, nothing wrong to say,
But along the way, tragedy fell at the hour of eleven,
For George died, and rose to the gate of heaven.
When he got there Saint Peter there stood.
"Long here have I stood with my key in hand,
And if residence here you want, as you should,
Then these are your crimes of which you stand."
And riddle them all off he did,
(What a day to be dead!)
And when an explanation was bid,
This is then one that was he said:
"Alas it is true,
I have committed all this,
And I know I must pay what is due.
But please do it with compassions kiss.
For I did as best I could,
Knowing my eager will,
Of sin and knowing it I would,
No matter the bill."
Poor Peter stood there,
With a dumb found expression upon his face,
"My brother please share,
Share with me in my place,
For long have I been here,
And I don't understand why?
Why find out about so much fear?
So much hatred, so much of that lie?"
George looked up at him and this is what he said:
"The truest friend is one who has lied,
The absent man has had whore in his bed.
The man who has nothing to hide,
Has found that out by pain.
The meekest one once was mad,
The most humble had fame,
And the best once was had.
Through love of God we stay on track,
And through sin we keep rounded,
For what the Godly lack,
Keeps them in chains bounded.
And what the sinful do,
Is an on going game of spiritual tag,
Like a sword it drives them through,
And so they kneel and to God they beg."
Saint Peter just stood there not knowing what to do,
A lost expressing on his face.
And then let him through,
For george had told him of grace.
Friday, July 07, 2006
"?"
If you had the choice of two women to wed,
(Though of course the idea is quite absurd)
And the first from her heels to her dainty head
Was charming in every sense of the word:
And yet in the past (I grieve to state),
She never had been exactly "straight".
And the second -- she was beyond all cavil,
A model of virtue, I must confess;
And yet, alas! she was dull as the devil,
And rather a dowd in the way of dress;
Though what she was lacking in wit and beauty,
She more than made up for in "sense of duty".
Now, suppose you must wed, and make no blunder,
And either would love you, and let you win her --
Which of the two would you choose, I wonder,
The stolid saint or the sparkling sinner?
--- Robert Service
Monday, July 03, 2006
To you.
I have a fear,
And its easy to see,
And ever so clear,
It has to do with you and me.
Oh how I love you,
So much I can't tell.
But its your due,
That short of I have fell.
You deserve so much more,
A man who is not so lustful,
A man who is not scared at the core,
And who you can trust in full.
I have wronged you,
And I admit I want to wrong you again,
But that won't do,
Cause what would worse is your shame,
Shame in me for what I've done,
Shame in me for how things are,
But we all must have our fun,
Though in us it will scare.
Shame.
In how I live,
In how I act.
In all to me you give.
I owe you ten fold stacked.
Shame.
Stacked in hundreds of flavors.
And I must beg,
Beg for forgiveness of behaviors,
In me happiness and despair play tag,
And it is you that will suffer,
Shame,
And above my head your love hovers,
But still its all the same.
But I fear I will loose you now,
I can feel it in my bones,
And hear it from above,
And if this is time for the actors bow,
And if for my sins I must atone,
Then remember my love.
And its easy to see,
And ever so clear,
It has to do with you and me.
Oh how I love you,
So much I can't tell.
But its your due,
That short of I have fell.
You deserve so much more,
A man who is not so lustful,
A man who is not scared at the core,
And who you can trust in full.
I have wronged you,
And I admit I want to wrong you again,
But that won't do,
Cause what would worse is your shame,
Shame in me for what I've done,
Shame in me for how things are,
But we all must have our fun,
Though in us it will scare.
Shame.
In how I live,
In how I act.
In all to me you give.
I owe you ten fold stacked.
Shame.
Stacked in hundreds of flavors.
And I must beg,
Beg for forgiveness of behaviors,
In me happiness and despair play tag,
And it is you that will suffer,
Shame,
And above my head your love hovers,
But still its all the same.
But I fear I will loose you now,
I can feel it in my bones,
And hear it from above,
And if this is time for the actors bow,
And if for my sins I must atone,
Then remember my love.