What to do, what to do.

Well I am still working at charlton and hill, but i hear that i can get a much bettter paying job, and at a much better place, if I pay 1200 roughly and go to school. What happens is that I become a 2nd year electical appantice without the hours. Someone hires me, and I make up hours at, what i believe is the same wage. But I am not sure what to do. I don't have the money. I might, and I now say might, be able to get on with my company, but thats a maybe. I am not sure if they appertaite my work or not. What do all think i should do?

The mad mans sermon

The mad mans sermon

Feel free to love,
And Love all that is free,
Sing praises to both friends and fiends a like,
Stick to your morals when push comes to shove.
Do not be afraid of what you can’t see,
Tell not the bum asking for change to take a hike.

Feel both blue and happy or what they would seem, But not too much of either,
Grasp reality and let go of fantasy,
But don’t forget to dream,
Let your emotions spin like a beater,
As is the tendency.

Hang on to the ones you love,
And let go to those who must leave,
For everyone must go,
To the judgement seat above.
And use your anger to heave,
All the fortunes you forgot to sow.

(ENDING A)

This is my cry,
And you listen to me,
The linguistic mad man,
As I begin to chant, to chant,
And you let what I said to thee be,And here is where my madness must die.

(ENDING B)

This is my teaching,
A fool in a pool of reason,
And this is what I have said,
So hear all of my preaching,
And accuse me not of moral treason,
For I am already dead.

My Holy Grail

(Disclaimer: As I have stated, I like to exaggerate things, so if you are reading this, and you know who you are, don't be afraid. I am just making myself feel this way for inspiration. Though there might be a grain of truth, it is no where near this deep.)

To my Holy Grail,
You who have saved me,
You who have found me,
You have taught me to sail,
To sail on the seas of hope,
To reach out and touch new lands,
And in them to lay in there fields.
You who have taught me to cope,
To try and allow what I can not control,
To run its course,
And what I can't command,
To take into my soul,
And make in mine.
To make it a part me,
To make surreal,
And to make me whole.

And so my salvation,
I thank you.
From the bottom of my very being.
And this revelation,
To know what you are,
And to feel it in my blood.
To hear the thin cry of love,
And in it to sing it both near and far.
And may you never have to cry too long,
And may you always find shade on a sunny day,
May your prayers always be answered,
And may you always here pleasent loves song.

To you my victory without fail,
To you my hope of salvation,
To you my bitter cup of irony,
To you... My Holy Grail.

TAKE HEED! TAKE HEED!

I make ant hills into mountains,
And make a bad day into a year.
I continually try on new emotions,
And rarely are they genuine I fear.

I take what I have and make it deeper,
I write frustration into hate,
And mould a crush into love,
But isn't this a poets fate?

To continually be a drama show,
Or at least pretend as one to suffer,
And make you my friend,
Into a love, into enemy, into a brother.

Emotional Battle

Frustration and Anger aside against Peace and Joy.
The emotional battle of who really is superior takes ploy,
Of who causes the trouble and the joy.
All lay claim to glory and greatness through Him,
Then Madness comes and throws his say in.

“His strength,” quoth (Peace and Joy), “comes from us, who give him
The will to go on.”
“Nay,” quoth (Frustration and Anger), “it is we who give him the
Muscle to continue when you have done him wrong.”
“But it is his calm face which we provide,” quoth (Peace and Joy).
“Wrong!” Quoth (Frustration), “It is not calm, but brooding which we derive.”
“But it is us who give him the smile the women adore,” quoth (Joy).
Quoth (Anger), “But it we who give him the power the gents up hoar.”
Quoth (Madness), “It is all of our efforts that make him the man who he is.”

And so continues the war,
Of Anger verses Joy, And Peace’s Lore,
Against Frustrations uproar.
Can a sense of Family ever be found?
Oh if only every emotion had a sound.

I apologize for not posting sooner. I have been a little busy. Have a new job...yep... And a new place to live. I needed one. But I hope to post more. But this will have to do for now.

For all you do

How my heart sings for the miracles you do,

You hold me, shelter me, and keep my darkness alight.

Your wit astounds, and your looks dazzle too.

You swat my evil away, and keep me form sorrows bite,

By being with me you light my most unseen corners,

Showing my wickedness to me,

And walk beside me, giving me a heart like a donor

.Keep me with you and let us see,

What happens with you and what happens with me.

Your hearts delight is what I need,

For all that has been given to me must be repaid.

You plant with in my soul a seed,

A gift it bears of the thing we have made.

And of it I will become.

So that you too can have this bliss,

For though scary for some,I have lived for this.

A theft of a life

A poem you ask me to riddle off,
Love you ask me to make,
With sagging shoulders, and a pitiful cough,
And I continually shake,
With the effects of hallucinogenic drugs.
What can you expect from a war shaken vessel?
From a borrowed system of failures and unfixed bugs?
And yet mans demons I continue wrestle.

My demons are not those of my own,
For how can anything be yours if all is a borrow.
All my joy, my love, and soul is on loan,
All my rage, all my hope, and all my sorrow,
From others I must take!
And yet I grow.
And though I may brake,
This is what I sow.

A web of connections,
A splinter of a code,
Of hastily built supernatural erections,
And everything the world to me has showed.
I am not one, but many.
I am not yours but I'm not mine.
I am of no one, but am of plenty,
And in these thefts I shine.

Jobs...

Sorry about my absence latley, but I have been busy with various things inlcuding trying to find a job. There are lots of jobs here, but it seems that i NEED a car. My only problem with that is I have no money to get one or insure one... Not yet. I need a job. I'm thinking maybe the trades. Become a mason, or an eletrion, or a plumber. I know it will take awhile to earn money, but I know a trade can get me enough money to try and become a pilot, and give me something to fall back on. Not sure why I'm writing this, i just am.